Polite Form

Can I have a cup of coffee? Yes, if you are able to.
Could I have a cup of coffee? Yes, you could - if it's possible.
May I have a cup of coffee? Yes, you may.

Can, Could, May ...

What are the differences and why do we use these words?
What does it really mean when we use them?
What is the native speaker's "real" reaction when we do?

What does "can" mean? What are we saying when we say: "Can I have a cup of coffee?" We are asking another person if they think we have ability. We are not actually asking for the coffee. We are asking about our ability; are we "able to" or "capable of" having a cup of coffee?

"Can I have a cup of coffee?" has become a popular method for asking for something, but if I ask in this manner, the person I ask may say "yes" and just walk away leaving me to wonder why I have no coffee. I did not actually ask for a cup of coffee.

"Could I have a cup of coffee?" Again, this is not actually asking for the coffee. We are exploring the possibility. This is, however, a more common and socially acceptable method of asking, so We will likely get our coffee.

"May I have a cup of coffee?" This is the preferred and most proper way of requesting something in English. This method is not only proper, it shows a level of eduation and socially acceptable behavior expected in business and society.


"May I have a cup of coffee, please? Easy to say and shows class.
"Can I have a cup of coffee?" makes one wonder what barn or gutter the person speaking was raised in.