Possibility, Intention, Obligation

How serious are you?

will	absolutely, sure, definitely, no doubt	100%
must	compulsion, imperative or directive	95%
need to	required, but might not be done	90%
had better	if it isn't done something bad may happen	90%
has got to, have got to	can't hesitate	90%
supposed to	a demand by others	85%
has to, have to	an obligation or demand	85%
should, ought	probably, it's a strong suggestion	85%
ought to	it's a good idea	75%
might, may	not sure, don't know, possibly, maybe, perhaps	50%
could	able to, it's possible, perhaps	50%
shouldn't	don't think so, probably not, I doubt it, better not	25%
don't have to	something is not necessary, but you can do it if you want to -- it's up to you.	10%
couldn't, can't	not able, don't know how, unliikely	10%
must not, mustn't	something is not allowed; it is forbidden, and you definitely shouldn't do it.	5%
won't	definitely not	0%

Polite Form

Can I have a cup of coffee? Yes, if you are able to.
Could I have a cup of coffee? Yes, you could - if it's possible.
May I have a cup of coffee? Yes, you may.

Can, Could, May ...

What are the differences and why do we use these words?
What does it really mean when we use them?
What is the native speaker's "real" reaction when we do?

What does "can" mean? What are we saying when we say: "Can I have a cup of coffee?" We are asking another person if they think we have ability. We are not actually asking for the coffee. We are asking about our ability; are we "able to" or "capable of" having a cup of coffee?

"Can I have a cup of coffee?" has become a popular method for asking for something, but if I ask in this manner, the person I ask may say "yes" and just walk away leaving me to wonder why I have no coffee. I did not actually ask for a cup of coffee.

"Could I have a cup of coffee?" Again, this is not actually asking for the coffee. We are exploring the possibility. This is, however, a more common and socially acceptable method of asking, so We will likely get our coffee.

"May I have a cup of coffee?" This is the preferred and most proper way of requesting something in English. This method is not only proper, it shows a level of eduation and socially acceptable behavior expected in business and society.


"May I have a cup of coffee, please? Easy to say and shows class.
"Can I have a cup of coffee?" makes one wonder what barn or gutter the person speaking was raised in.

The Magic Words

If you want or need something done by another person, how do you ask?

I need to use the phone.
I want a cup of tea.

We often speak like this, especially when we are in a hurry.
How do you feel when someone speaks like this to you?

How about this:

I need to use the phone, please.
I want a cup of tea, please.

You get a very different feeling don't you?

How about:

Could I use the phone, please.
Could I have a cup of tea, please.

Feels better?

How about:

May I use the phone, please.
May I have a cup of tea, please.

The more polite you are when you ask,
the happier the other person will be to help you,
even under the most stressful of times.

The "magic word" please does miracles.
It also has a partner: Thank you.

If you practice using these words,
you will always have a happier experience.